Lost Souls

As you probably know, I've got some code hidden about that tells a certain website whenever someone stumbles through one of my pages. This website, when I ask it nicely and it feels good and ready, then tells me what its sneaky little code told it. Usually it's nothing more exciting than, say, that Kyle's mom has checked the site about a hundred and fifty thousand times in a single morning, and that her aftershave smells like coffee grounds. But sometimes it tells me funny things, like that some poor bastard found my site while trying to look for a dude puking on a naked girl, or looking up Brazilian undie-goddess Alessandra Ambrosio, or looking up instructions for their new purple anthropomorphic sex robot.

Yesterday it told me that my site is ranked #1 in the Google search results for "face-eating spiders," and that a couple days ago it was ranked in the top ten results for a search of "Jack White's house" and that it came up right behind College Humor in searches for "drunken shamings."

Excellent.